BREAKING: Malia Obama Expelled From Harvard

Malia Obama, who has decided that as an adult she wants to be a pot smoking, rap listening, twerking party girl, has been ousted from the student roster at Harvard University. The school’s chancellor, Malcolm Little, said that regardless of her status as a former first daughter, the rules are …

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BREAKING: Federal Court Bans CNN From White House Press Room

In the interest of truth and democracy, the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled unanimously to remove CNN’s status as “free press” and therefore their access to the White House press room. While it is ultimately up to the president to decide which news outlets are and are not …

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